U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
