So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize