is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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