dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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