You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
