Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
