At least make sure they are 18
Why
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
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In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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