it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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