It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
