a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
