I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
