I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
