my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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