What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
