I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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