I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
