She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My vagina is very pro this idea
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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