Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
