dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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