After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
