Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
