Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
