do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
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I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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