it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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