i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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