not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
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i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
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I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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