Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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