Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Randomize
