I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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