I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
