I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
