You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
