spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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