We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
