i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
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