WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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