sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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