Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
