he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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