Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
