We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize