drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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