My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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