Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
