I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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