That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize
