if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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