He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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