I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
