Me. At least after what I've been through.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize