dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize