Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
