ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
