I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize