Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
