You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It's never too late to be topless.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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