I cannot find my penis.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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