I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize