Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
