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• (585): View more from New York

  Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick

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• (909): View more from California

  do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?

  (760): View more from California

  and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..

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• (406): View more from Montana

  That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.

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• (325): View more from Texas

  She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.

  (360): View more from Washington

  Welcome to Bellingham.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!

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• (979): View more from Texas

  The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He just brought a live lobster to the party.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I got my gum stuck on his balls.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.

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