I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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